Paris Hilton @ VMAs 2007

Paris Hilton (in Dolce & Gabbana) arrives at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards held at The Palms Hotel and Casino on Sunday in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Britney Spears Kicks Off VMAs With James Bond-Meets-S&M Opening Number

Singer is decked out in a black bra, hot pants, black boots and not much else.

An out-of-shape, out-of-touch Britney Spears delivered what was destined to be the most talked about performance of the MTV Video Music Awards — but for all the wrong reasons. Kicking off the show Sunday night with her new single, "Gimme More," Spears looked bleary and unprepared — much like her recent tabloid exploits on the streets of Los Angeles.

She lazily walked through her dance moves with little enthusiasm. It appeared she had forgotten the entire art of lip-synching; and, perhaps most unforgivable given her once taut frame, she looked embarrassingly out of shape.

Even the celebrity-studded audience seemed bewildered. 50 Cent looked at Spears with a confused expression; Diddy, her new best friend, was expressionless.

Some comeback.

The VMAs was hoping to reinvent itself on Sunday. After suffering poor reviews and a decline in ratings over the last few years, MTV moved the show to Las Vegas' Palms Casino, shortened the show from three hours to two, and changed the show's setup to focus more on performances than awards.

To that end, Justin Timberlake and Timbaland, Kanye West, Fall Out Boy and the Foo Fighters were each hosting four separate suite parties, where much of the show's performances would be held.

Timberlake's suite was packed with revelers, alcohol and eight lingerie-clad stripper types on raised platforms. Before he accepted the Quadruple Threat of the Year award at his suite, the DJ summoned the partygoers to watch the monitor and go crazy if Timberlake won.

He did, they did, and Timberlake said: "I want to challenge MTV to play more videos!" Then he was whisked away by bodyguards and disappeared.

Meanwhile, Rihanna won Monster Single of the Year for her ubiquitous hit "Umbrella," and Beyonce and Shakira won Most Earthshattering Collaboration for "Beautiful Liar."

Other performers were appearing on the show's main stage, in front of an industry-only audience seated at tables, like at the Golden Globes.

The Palms' casino floor, already glittering with slot machines and blinking lights, was transformed into a dazzling red carpet, as the likes of Jennifer Hudson, Kid Rock, Paris Hilton, Jennifer Garner and a newly blond Nelly Furtado were among those who posed for the cameras.

And Nicole Scherzinger, making her solo debut from the Pussycat Dolls, gave a performance for the gawking fans, performing her new single with the rapper Lil' Wayne.

While Spears' performance was a showcase, others were delivered in snippets: Akon crooned a bit of his "Smack That" before an award was announced, while the cameras zoomed in on performances from Fall Out Boy and the Foo Fighters mid-performance in their suites, giving viewers the sense that they had happened upon an intimate concert.

Britney checklist:

•Hair. Present and accounted for. Blond, slightly longer than shoulder-length.

•Underwear. Clearly, since that's all she was wearing, aside from black boots.

•Voice. Same as it ever was. That is, so wispy as to be nearly non-existent.

•Production. Elaborate, complete with male dancer escorts and female pole dancers.

•Meltdown. None. (Sorry, sensation-seekers.) However, demure her gyrations were not.

•Song. Oops, she forgot to bring one. Truly forgettable.

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer Almost Meet...in Another Dimension

Despite what you may have read elsewhere, former flames Jessica Simpson and John Mayer did not experience a near-miss in the lobby of a New York hotel on Tuesday. While singer-actress Simpson didn't land in New York for fashion week until today, musician Mayer is even further off the gossip-beaten path, laying low on vacation in Mexico, according to his blog and official word from his rep. "John has been out of the country since last Friday," she tells Usmagazine.com.

Reports put Simpson and Mayer at the SoHo Grand Hotel (one-time home to a Jess and John tryst) last night, with Simpson's assistant sent to shoo Mayer out of the lobby for her lady's arrival. Being working suckers ourselves, we'd love to give this plucky right-hand-gal credit for sparing her boss from an awkward encounter with her ex, but coordinating John's trip across the border is a bit beyond even the best help.

So...barring a split in the time-space continuum, in which a relaxed Mayer, beer-in-hand, sandy toes and all, was momentarily transported to the Big Apple for an uncomfortable tete a tete with his ex's "people," you can rest assured that this once-mismatched duo can keep on pretending to be "friends" without benefits.

Still, as a heads up to Jess' intrepid assistant, the Simpson crew should stay away from Blacksburg, Virginia, for at least a few days. Mayer's rep tells Us, "Today, after a hurricane-related weather delay, [John's] back to work and traveling...for tomorrow's performance at Virginia Tech."

Brad Pitt hates watching Paris Hilton on TV

Actor brad Pitt, who is currently in a relationship with fellow thespian Angelina Jolie, has said that he cannot bear to watch Paris Hilton on TV, saying that he is tired of the socialite’s constant “quest” for fame and isn’t interested in watching her life unfold.

He said, in an interview with Details magazine: “This Paris Hilton quest for fame - she’s blissfully obvious.

“Angie and I hadn’t seen television for like a month, although I’m probably exaggerating, and we just got back to the United States. We turned on CNN news. And on comes Paris Hilton, going to jail. And so we just turned it off again.”

Brad also insisted that he and girlfriend Angelina realize there is more to life than just fame, and were initially attracted to one another because of their shared desire to make the world a better place.

Pitt, who met Angelina during filming of the movie ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’ (when he was still married to Jennifer Aniston - said: “Taking a hand in improving the world is something that brought Angie and I together, certainly. She’s absolute evidence for me of someone facilitating changes for the better.

“I carried the standard cynicism. But it was also feeling like, I can’t sit on my couch anymore, I’m going crazy. This thing I’m doing with my life, it’s very nice, but it’s not doing it for me.”

Busta Rhymes trial postponed until November

NEW YORK (AP) — Busta Rhymes has a new court date.

A judge Wednesday postponed the rapper's trial until November after the prosecutor and the defense lawyer said they were not ready to begin.

Rhymes was ordered to appear in court Nov. 7 for hearings on charges of attacking two men, driving drunk and driving with a suspended license.

The 35-year-old hip-hop star (real name: Trevor Smith) has rejected a plea deal that would have given him a year in jail.

He is accused of beating a fan and kicking a former employee last year, and also faces charges of driving with a suspended license and driving drunk.

Rhymes, known for eye-catching outfits and an antic performance style, was dressed in a conservative medium-gray suit, a lighter gray shirt and a patterned gray tie during his court appearance. He left in a large SUV.

His hits include Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See,Dangerous and Touch It. He also has appeared in movies, including Shaft and Finding Forrester.

Jennifer Lopez secures $545,000 from ex-husband

A California judge has upheld and approved a $545,000 arbitration award to Jennifer Lopez, while the actress/singer won from her ex-husband, Ojani Noa. Not only did J. Lo secure the cash from her first ex-husband, but she also managed to win a permanent injunction against Noa from publishing anything negative, denigrating or disparaging about Jennifer Lopez.

Los Angeles Superior Court judge Michael C. Solner upheld the a previous ruling that Ojani Noa had violated the terms of a previous confidentiality agreement when he started trying to shop around a tell-all manuscript, featuring several private details from Lopez's life. It had been rumored that the tell-all novel from Noa contained details of their first sexual encounter together, as well as claims that Jennifer Lopez cheated on him several times, once with her current husband an El Cantante costar, Marc Anthony. Anthony was still married to Miss Universe Rayanara Torres at the time.

Jennifer Lopez and Ojani Noa tied the know in 1997, before she rose to stardom in Hollywood. The two first met while he was working as a waiter in Miami. The two were wed, and divorced less than one year later. Both Noa and Jennifer Lopez remained civil throughout the divorce, which led to Lopez hiring Noa to manage a Pasadena eatery which she owns, Madre's. However, the 2002 hiring would result in Noa's firing just six months later. That prompted a wrongful termination suit against Jennifer Lopez.

That lawsuit was the first sign of tension between the former couple. Noa settled the lawsuit out of court for $125,000, and with Lopez winning the silence of Noa through a non-disclosure agreement regarding their relationship. Despite the ruling, Noa went ahead with writing a tell-all book, though word would quickly leak to Jennifer Lopez. As a result, Jennifer Lopez sued Ojani Noa, seeking a permanent injunction against any such publication. Lopez claimed that Noa had attempted to extort $5 million out of J. Lo in order to keep the book private.

As a result of Wednesday's ruling, Ojani Noa owes Jennifer Lopez $200,000 from breaching the previous settlement, as well as $300,000 in legal fees and $48,000 in arbitration costs. Outside court, E Online reports that Noa told Spanish-language reporters he was not attempting to damage Lopez's reputation, noting that he had "too much class for that."