Paris Hilton @ VMAs 2007

Paris Hilton (in Dolce & Gabbana) arrives at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards held at The Palms Hotel and Casino on Sunday in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Britney Spears Kicks Off VMAs With James Bond-Meets-S&M Opening Number

Singer is decked out in a black bra, hot pants, black boots and not much else.

An out-of-shape, out-of-touch Britney Spears delivered what was destined to be the most talked about performance of the MTV Video Music Awards — but for all the wrong reasons. Kicking off the show Sunday night with her new single, "Gimme More," Spears looked bleary and unprepared — much like her recent tabloid exploits on the streets of Los Angeles.

She lazily walked through her dance moves with little enthusiasm. It appeared she had forgotten the entire art of lip-synching; and, perhaps most unforgivable given her once taut frame, she looked embarrassingly out of shape.

Even the celebrity-studded audience seemed bewildered. 50 Cent looked at Spears with a confused expression; Diddy, her new best friend, was expressionless.

Some comeback.

The VMAs was hoping to reinvent itself on Sunday. After suffering poor reviews and a decline in ratings over the last few years, MTV moved the show to Las Vegas' Palms Casino, shortened the show from three hours to two, and changed the show's setup to focus more on performances than awards.

To that end, Justin Timberlake and Timbaland, Kanye West, Fall Out Boy and the Foo Fighters were each hosting four separate suite parties, where much of the show's performances would be held.

Timberlake's suite was packed with revelers, alcohol and eight lingerie-clad stripper types on raised platforms. Before he accepted the Quadruple Threat of the Year award at his suite, the DJ summoned the partygoers to watch the monitor and go crazy if Timberlake won.

He did, they did, and Timberlake said: "I want to challenge MTV to play more videos!" Then he was whisked away by bodyguards and disappeared.

Meanwhile, Rihanna won Monster Single of the Year for her ubiquitous hit "Umbrella," and Beyonce and Shakira won Most Earthshattering Collaboration for "Beautiful Liar."

Other performers were appearing on the show's main stage, in front of an industry-only audience seated at tables, like at the Golden Globes.

The Palms' casino floor, already glittering with slot machines and blinking lights, was transformed into a dazzling red carpet, as the likes of Jennifer Hudson, Kid Rock, Paris Hilton, Jennifer Garner and a newly blond Nelly Furtado were among those who posed for the cameras.

And Nicole Scherzinger, making her solo debut from the Pussycat Dolls, gave a performance for the gawking fans, performing her new single with the rapper Lil' Wayne.

While Spears' performance was a showcase, others were delivered in snippets: Akon crooned a bit of his "Smack That" before an award was announced, while the cameras zoomed in on performances from Fall Out Boy and the Foo Fighters mid-performance in their suites, giving viewers the sense that they had happened upon an intimate concert.

Britney checklist:

•Hair. Present and accounted for. Blond, slightly longer than shoulder-length.

•Underwear. Clearly, since that's all she was wearing, aside from black boots.

•Voice. Same as it ever was. That is, so wispy as to be nearly non-existent.

•Production. Elaborate, complete with male dancer escorts and female pole dancers.

•Meltdown. None. (Sorry, sensation-seekers.) However, demure her gyrations were not.

•Song. Oops, she forgot to bring one. Truly forgettable.

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer Almost Meet...in Another Dimension

Despite what you may have read elsewhere, former flames Jessica Simpson and John Mayer did not experience a near-miss in the lobby of a New York hotel on Tuesday. While singer-actress Simpson didn't land in New York for fashion week until today, musician Mayer is even further off the gossip-beaten path, laying low on vacation in Mexico, according to his blog and official word from his rep. "John has been out of the country since last Friday," she tells Usmagazine.com.

Reports put Simpson and Mayer at the SoHo Grand Hotel (one-time home to a Jess and John tryst) last night, with Simpson's assistant sent to shoo Mayer out of the lobby for her lady's arrival. Being working suckers ourselves, we'd love to give this plucky right-hand-gal credit for sparing her boss from an awkward encounter with her ex, but coordinating John's trip across the border is a bit beyond even the best help.

So...barring a split in the time-space continuum, in which a relaxed Mayer, beer-in-hand, sandy toes and all, was momentarily transported to the Big Apple for an uncomfortable tete a tete with his ex's "people," you can rest assured that this once-mismatched duo can keep on pretending to be "friends" without benefits.

Still, as a heads up to Jess' intrepid assistant, the Simpson crew should stay away from Blacksburg, Virginia, for at least a few days. Mayer's rep tells Us, "Today, after a hurricane-related weather delay, [John's] back to work and traveling...for tomorrow's performance at Virginia Tech."

Brad Pitt hates watching Paris Hilton on TV

Actor brad Pitt, who is currently in a relationship with fellow thespian Angelina Jolie, has said that he cannot bear to watch Paris Hilton on TV, saying that he is tired of the socialite’s constant “quest” for fame and isn’t interested in watching her life unfold.

He said, in an interview with Details magazine: “This Paris Hilton quest for fame - she’s blissfully obvious.

“Angie and I hadn’t seen television for like a month, although I’m probably exaggerating, and we just got back to the United States. We turned on CNN news. And on comes Paris Hilton, going to jail. And so we just turned it off again.”

Brad also insisted that he and girlfriend Angelina realize there is more to life than just fame, and were initially attracted to one another because of their shared desire to make the world a better place.

Pitt, who met Angelina during filming of the movie ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’ (when he was still married to Jennifer Aniston - said: “Taking a hand in improving the world is something that brought Angie and I together, certainly. She’s absolute evidence for me of someone facilitating changes for the better.

“I carried the standard cynicism. But it was also feeling like, I can’t sit on my couch anymore, I’m going crazy. This thing I’m doing with my life, it’s very nice, but it’s not doing it for me.”

Busta Rhymes trial postponed until November

NEW YORK (AP) — Busta Rhymes has a new court date.

A judge Wednesday postponed the rapper's trial until November after the prosecutor and the defense lawyer said they were not ready to begin.

Rhymes was ordered to appear in court Nov. 7 for hearings on charges of attacking two men, driving drunk and driving with a suspended license.

The 35-year-old hip-hop star (real name: Trevor Smith) has rejected a plea deal that would have given him a year in jail.

He is accused of beating a fan and kicking a former employee last year, and also faces charges of driving with a suspended license and driving drunk.

Rhymes, known for eye-catching outfits and an antic performance style, was dressed in a conservative medium-gray suit, a lighter gray shirt and a patterned gray tie during his court appearance. He left in a large SUV.

His hits include Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See,Dangerous and Touch It. He also has appeared in movies, including Shaft and Finding Forrester.

Jennifer Lopez secures $545,000 from ex-husband

A California judge has upheld and approved a $545,000 arbitration award to Jennifer Lopez, while the actress/singer won from her ex-husband, Ojani Noa. Not only did J. Lo secure the cash from her first ex-husband, but she also managed to win a permanent injunction against Noa from publishing anything negative, denigrating or disparaging about Jennifer Lopez.

Los Angeles Superior Court judge Michael C. Solner upheld the a previous ruling that Ojani Noa had violated the terms of a previous confidentiality agreement when he started trying to shop around a tell-all manuscript, featuring several private details from Lopez's life. It had been rumored that the tell-all novel from Noa contained details of their first sexual encounter together, as well as claims that Jennifer Lopez cheated on him several times, once with her current husband an El Cantante costar, Marc Anthony. Anthony was still married to Miss Universe Rayanara Torres at the time.

Jennifer Lopez and Ojani Noa tied the know in 1997, before she rose to stardom in Hollywood. The two first met while he was working as a waiter in Miami. The two were wed, and divorced less than one year later. Both Noa and Jennifer Lopez remained civil throughout the divorce, which led to Lopez hiring Noa to manage a Pasadena eatery which she owns, Madre's. However, the 2002 hiring would result in Noa's firing just six months later. That prompted a wrongful termination suit against Jennifer Lopez.

That lawsuit was the first sign of tension between the former couple. Noa settled the lawsuit out of court for $125,000, and with Lopez winning the silence of Noa through a non-disclosure agreement regarding their relationship. Despite the ruling, Noa went ahead with writing a tell-all book, though word would quickly leak to Jennifer Lopez. As a result, Jennifer Lopez sued Ojani Noa, seeking a permanent injunction against any such publication. Lopez claimed that Noa had attempted to extort $5 million out of J. Lo in order to keep the book private.

As a result of Wednesday's ruling, Ojani Noa owes Jennifer Lopez $200,000 from breaching the previous settlement, as well as $300,000 in legal fees and $48,000 in arbitration costs. Outside court, E Online reports that Noa told Spanish-language reporters he was not attempting to damage Lopez's reputation, noting that he had "too much class for that."

Lewis apologizes for anti-gay slur

NEW YORK (AP) — Jerry Lewis dropped an anti-gay slur — the same one that got Isaiah Washington of Grey's Anatomy in trouble — during the 18th hour of his annual Labor Day Telethon.

He apologized Tuesday for a "bad choice of words."

The 81-year-old showman — prowling about the stage during the live telecast Monday in Las Vegas — was goofing around and dodging his cameraman, then went into a ramble about imaginary family members.

"Oh, your family has come to see you," he said, speaking to the camera and gesturing toward thin air.

"You remember Bart, your older son," he said, and motioning toward another unseen character, "Jesse, the illiterate f——-."

"No," Lewis said, quickly stopping himself before continuing.

Monday's monologue prompted a critical statement Tuesday from the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.

Neil Giuliano, GLAAD president, called Lewis' use of the term "simply unacceptable."

"It also feeds a climate of hatred and intolerance that contributes to putting our community in harm's way," Giuliano said.

In a statement Tuesday, Lewis said he was making "a joking comment to a member of my production team."

"I apologize to anyone who was offended," he went on. "Everyone who knows me understands that I hold no prejudices in this regard. In the family atmosphere of the telethon, I forget that not everyone knows me that well.

"That something like this would distract from the true purpose of the telethon pains me deeply. ... I accept responsibility for what I said. There are no excuses," he said.

Lewis' telethon, in its 42nd year, set a record by raising $63.7 million to benefit the Muscular Dystrophy Association, topping last year's event by $3 million.

R. Kelly porn trial delayed again

CHICAGO (AP) — R. Kelly is going to have to wait even longer for his day in court.

Five years after being charged with child pornography, the R&B star's trial had been set to start on Sept. 17. But a Cook County judge has postponed it because the lead prosecutor had a baby recently.

Kelly was charged in 2002 and is accused of engaging in videotaped sex acts with an underage girl. Since his arrest, the case has been hit with numerous delays. A new date hasn't been set.

Kelly's attorneys haven't conceded that he is on the tape, saying his likeness may have been computer generated. They have also tried to raise doubts about the identity and age of the girl.

The case has been hit with delay after delay. Since being charged, Kelly has had six best-selling albums and three nationwide tours.

Tobey Maguire Got Married

LOS ANGELES (AFP) — "Spider Man" star Tobey Maguire has married his long-time partner Jennifer Meyer at a low-key ceremony in Hawaii, People magazine reported on Tuesday.

Maguire, 32, and Meyer, 30, who have a nine-month-old daughter together, tied the knot in front of family and friends on Monday, the celebrity magazine reported, without providing further details.

Maguire, who earned a tabloid reputation for hard-partying with close friend Leonardo DiCaprio during his earlier years, has made no secret of his desire to eventually settle down.

Maguire, who has admitted to having a nomadic childhood, said that gaining stability was important to him.

"Growing up the way I did, I had a very serious ambition to make some money, to have some security and comfort in my life," the star said.

Maguire reportedly has been offered 20 million dollars to reprise his role as crime-fighting webslinger Peter Parker in "Spider Man 4" following this year's money-spinning latest installment of the franchise.

Nicole Kidman Talks Babies and Rehab

Nicole Kidman's career profile is about to get a boost. A little more than a year after her last big-screen appearance (2006's Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus), she'll have three movies in quick succession. The Invasion, a suspense thriller co-starring Daniel Craig, opened in August; Margot at the Wedding, a dramedy co-starring Jack Black and Jennifer Jason Leigh, opens in November; and The Golden Compass, an adventure drama also co-starring Craig, opens in December.

Her own life has had its dramatic turns in the past year. Kidman, 40, married country music superstar Keith Urban, 39, in June 2006. And four months later, he entered a 90-day rehab program at the Betty Ford Clinic for treatment for alcohol addiction. But now, as her next on-screen appearance nears, she opens up to October's Vanity Fair, on stands in New York and Los Angeles Wednesday and nationwide Sept. 11, and Ladies' Home Journal, on stands Sept. 11.

On Urban's rehab stint.

•Vanity Fair. "I've learned an enormous amount having a relationship with someone who is in recovery. I'm more than willing to walk it with him. ... We were in a very, very, very bad, painful place and have managed to step through it, and I hope that gives some people some hope who may be in the same place. And that's enough said. Anything else is overindulgent and unnecessary right now."

•Ladies' Home Journal. "That's all so raw still. He's talked about his recovery, but for me, it's still just, I don't know. If I say something, before you know it it's a headline on some tabloid and it just sounds so trite and it's not."

On handling a long-distance relationship.

•VF. "Two weeks is still too long for us (to be apart). We like one week. We start to hurt after seven days."

•LHJ. "We both fly to each other and are never apart for more than two weeks, and even that's too long. We're usually apart for only one week at a time. We're totally committed to that. ... I've never wanted to live my life apart from the person I love. So that's what we do."

On having kids with Urban.

•VF. "I'm yearning to have one. I think I would be very sad if I wasn't able to have a baby. Keith knows I want one, and he has been getting there slowly."

•LHJ. "My husband really wants a couple of years, he said, 'where I just have you.' So it's kind of romantic. He's like, 'I just love the two of us.' It's really honest. So as a woman I sort of hear that loud and clear and go, 'OK, I get that.' So that's kind of what we decided."

On her children with ex Tom Cruise: Isabella, 14, and Connor, 12.

•VF. "I called Tom (from Australia) and said, 'Guess what? Bella wants blue hair.' I go with my daughter to the hair salon to get it dyed blue, and I look at her and I think, My God, it's cool!"

•LHJ. "My son just flew to Australia and worked on this new film (Baz Luhrmann's Australia). He loved it. There are a lot of horses, and he worked with them and the wranglers. He got a paycheck —his first paycheck— from his mother."

On her personality traits.

•VF. "I get engaged and I get married — that's my thing," Kidman says after revealing that she was engaged to a man she declined to identify after her split from Cruise and before she hooked up with Urban. "I wasn't ready. We weren't ready."

•LHJ. "I've raised an extended family in all its shapes and forms. It's very, very hard to do alone, so it's wonderful to be able to call on grandparents and sisters and the ex-husband and all of the ways in which we now co-exist. And if you can maintain a balance through that, I think that's really special."

Halle Berry: Yes, I'm Pregnant

The Oscar winner has confirmed she is expecting her first child with Gabriel Aubry, her model boyfriend of almost two years.

"Yes, I am three months' pregnant," Berry told Access Hollywood. "Gabriel and I are beyond excited, and I've waited a long time for this moment in my life.

"Now, the next seven months will be the longest of my life!"

Berry, 41, has made no secret in recent years of her desire to start a family.

"My sights are set on a different chapter in my life, which is motherhood. That's the goal I have very clearly set for myself," she told Parade in an interview earlier this year.

In April, she told Access Hollywood she had reached a point where she was "really, really ready" to procreate.

"Not that there's not more to accomplish, but I think I arrived at a point in life that I realized I needed more to get me up in the morning. More than going to a new movie set...I need something even more profound than that, and that's family. And that's children," Berry said.

"I need that like the air to breathe these days, and I'm ready."

Berry met Aubry, 31, in November 2005, and the twosome made their first public appearance together at the February 2006 opening of a Versace boutique in New York.

The actress' first marriage to baseball star David Justice ended in 1996, while her divorce from second husband Eric Bénet was finalized in January 2005.

Destiny’s Child reunite on Beyonce's Birthday

BEYONCE was given an early birthday present by former bandmates MICHELLE WILLIAMS and KELLY ROWLAND.

The singer – who turned 26 today – was reunited with her Destiny’s Child pals during a concert in Los Angeles on Sunday night.

One fan in the audience told me: "We were stunned when Michelle and Kelly came on stage during the Destiny’s Child medley."

However unfortunately the crowd weren't treated to an impromptu performance by the girls.

The fan added: "It was all over rather quickly.

"I don't think Beyonce wanted Kelly and Michelle to steal the limelight.

"It would have been nice to see them perform together one more time."

It was a night for cameos as Beyonce's boyfriend JAY-Z also made an appearance later on.

Paris Hilton Goes to Elle

In an interview only marginally less hard hitting than Larry King's postincarceration pressing, Paris Hilton sat down with family friend and fellow drama queen Jackie Collins to dish—yet again—on her jail stint, her cat-and-mouse game with the paparazzi and her desire to domesticate.

In Hilton's latest reinvention-touting interview, this time featured in the U.K. edition of Elle's October issue, the hotel heiress pays serious lip service to following in pal Nicole Richie's footsteps and settling down, claiming that she has designs on procreating as early as next year and that nothing would make her happier, despite preconception-based tabloid reports to the contrary.

"I wanna have like a family and a guy," she tells Collins, a lifelong family friend, in the Q&A. "Y'know, it just upsets me because I'm not anything like what people say about me, and this cartoon character that they've made of me is just completely false. It makes me mad that I'm such a good person and I'm treated like that by some people, I just don't get it."

Still, the 26-year-old isn't letting the haters get her down—or get in the way of a good plan.

"I just started working out and it feels great," she said. "It gives me so much energy. I want kids next year, so I've got to get my body ready."

As for which A-list male specimen might aid her in her brood-making quest, Hilton says she is currently single but on the lookout.

"I used to care about looks, but I've grown out of that stage. They have to be a good person, someone I know would be a good husband, loyal and funny and smart. And somebody I can trust, with good chemistry. But I don't know, I like a guy who can make me laugh."

As for what Hilton thinks she can bring to the relationship: "I make an amazing lasagna."

Before she brings another Hilton into the world, however, the former Simple Life star is content to focus on the little things that make her happy—no longer the late nights or hot clubs, she says, but her animals—11 dogs, two monkeys, three ferrets, three cats and two bunnies, at last count—and her family.

Something, she says, that no longer holds interest for her are Hollywood's hot spots and the suddenly unwanted coverage they attract.

"They're like stalkers," she says of her ever-present paparazzi followers. "I think they're out of control. I've rented this beach house, I'm all excited to go out on the beach and I can't even do that...I can't even see the beach from my house now, because there are 60 or 70 paparazzi standing on the beach in front of my house waiting for me to go in the ocean and for my bathing suit top to fall off. It's insane."

Hilton says she had a similar problem while attempting to go incognito on a solo trip to Hawaii immediately after her release from jail.

"I thought I got away with it because we bought tickets to, like, six different places...And I used a different name, but when we landed the paparazzi were all there, and I was so upset because I was dressed like a Hawaiian. I had on a black wig and I thought no one would notice."

Hilton's sudden aversion to photogs seemed to rear as soon as she walked out of Lynwood's Century Regional Detention Facility earlier this summer, with the heiress saying she was "in shock" at the waiting throngs.

"It was weird to be out in the open air, so many flashbulbs, and the helicopters were crazy. I was shy because I hadn't been around people for a while."

As for her time behind bars, Hilton doesn't appear to be too scarred from the experience, saying she got along famously with her cellblock-mates. Her opinion of the sentencing judge, however, is a different story.

"We were all in cells, and I would talk to them in passing and they'd say, 'I love you, God bless you, it's ridiculous you're in here. I'm in here for murder, what the hell is going on?' People thought the judge was totally out of order...You know, I was only in there for a suspended license."

Despite any lingering bitterness over the experience, Hilton is making good on her postjail word to get more involved in the matters close to her heart, signing on most recently to chair the 16th annual AmfAR Rocks benefit.

Cynthia Nixon, Tim Gunn, Greg Grunberg, Thom Filicia, Ted Allen, Jesse L. Martin and Anthony Rapp cochair the event, taking place Sept. 24 in New York.